a trip of a lifetime

The day started early for me. I collected a friend and we headed off from Berkshire at 8.30am and based on google-maps it was going to take about 2 hours to get to the karting track. My mate, Andy, regularly visits Essex so told me he has done it in about a hour. After borrowing my mum’s 4 door fiesta (4 doors for more whores) – my car was having the boot fixed – we maintained a good speed on the M25 and got to Brentwood with enough time to pop to the big Sainsburys for some supplies.

Parked up and found out it was a £3 charge! On the plus side if you spent £5 in Sainsburys you got the money back. After putting the £3 in the machine in then gave us a ticket for the car with the smallest ‘tear off’ section which was about 4mm wide and not the full ticket! I was very worried I’d just wasted £3 on parking for 5 minutes! *AngryFace* The trouble is we only wanted some water & chewing-gum so grabbed randomly at Crisps, Chocolate, more Chewing-gum (how stinky is my breath?) and an orange juice.  Andy then presented the small docket to the lady behind the counter and she seemed happy enough to refund us the £3.

Armed with Water and Chewing-gum we rocked up at the Karting track just as they are setting up the group photo. My mate Andy was seriously impressed with the Nissan Cube, especially in the Gulf Livery. I don’t think it was raining at this point and it was looking very close to starting to rain. After a couple of photos were taken the kart was returned to the ‘pack’ and we made our way into the briefing room.

During the briefing we were shown a very short video outlining the basic safety requirements but also the meaning of the different flags. Checkered flag marks the end of the race – return to the pits.

Yellow Flag – Accident ahead, slow to half race speed, no overtaking

Red Flag – STOP!

Black Flag – Into the Pits – Disqualified.

This was repeated a couple of times, just to make sure that everyone understood. The mood was high when the video ended and even the rain starting to fall outside didn’t worry people. Unfortunately due to me & Andy arriving a little later than everyone-else, instead of getting our race-suits on we had to register and do all the disclaimer stuff. Although this was quickly done via computer, by the time we arrived in the room with the race suits, all the ‘dry suits’ (to keep you dry) had gone. We got kitted up, collected our race numbers (Number 17, as you ask) and Andy took the first 5 laps of qualifying. This mean that I took the 2^nd 5 laps and also started for the actual race.

The qualifying was to arrange the order of the karts on the starting grid. Even though I got over-taken I got ushered to Pole Position. Sat on Pole I could only think that I had managed on one of the laps I had overtaken people that I was super-quick! What amazing driving skills I had. For some reason the concept of my mate Andy having an excellent laptime never actually crossed my mind – sorry Andy!

The lights changed to green and I was off! Leading from the front for all of 10-20 metres until 2^nd place passed me on the first bend. Here followed lots of people overtaking me! Damn my poor power-to-weight ratio! As luck would have it the rain was making the track slippy and at each bend someone was spinning out giving me the opportunity to overtake. Unfortunately this gave me false confidence in my own driving skills and it was only a matter of time before I spun-out going into a corner. It was the turning before the 180 degree bend and it was to become my nemesis! No matter how well my driving was getting, no matter who I managed to overtake, this bend had me spinning out – sometimes with me facing the wrong way with plenty of other Karts having to dodge to go round me!

Andy and I had decided on a 20 minute change-over. By the time I was called in by Andy I was soaked through. Even my trainers were sodden! A quick change-over in the pits and I went to check on our position. A screen in the viewing area advised that after 20 minutes of driving we were 8^th. Out of 16 teams it meant we were in the top half of the pack. We might have started in poll but it meant that I wasn’t doing too badly. The last time I went karting I was pretty crap. I have lost about 5 stone since then though so perhaps the weight-loss was helping. Obviously not helping too much, we were in eighth place, but helping none-the-less!

Andy did some great driving in the kart and managed to get us to 6^th place. The rain seemed to get heavier and heavier as the racing went on and I treated myself to a cup of tea from the pit-stop café. Watching the karts race round in the rain with huge spray coming off the wheels as they sped round it really did look like ‘proper’ racing. No-one was taking it easy and everyone looked to be taking it seriously. As I was watching the racing from the viewing area I filmed it on my iphone and took some pictures. I was also able to watch the other cars coming in to do driver changes. This is when I noticed that when the pit lane was empty, some people were stopping near the back to do the driver change-over. This was fine as long as no-one else came into the pits but if another kart came in, this kart would go round the stopped kart and then stop which meant that the kart which had completed the change over had to manouever round the 2^nd kart before re-joining the pits. This gave me the idea of making sure I stood near the front of the pit lane when we did the change-over and ensured we weren’t delayed by other karts coming in.

At about 20 minute after we had done our first swap, I hung myself over the barrier with our number 17 Team board. As my co-driver made the turn next to the viewing area he gave a nod in my direction and I put my gloves back on, donned my helmet and made the walk to the pit-lane. Being under cover for the past 20 minutes hadn’t really dried me off but had made me appreciate not being continually soaked. Our change-over was a swift one and as I re-joined the track I got a blinded by the kart infront of me, I’d forgotten to lower my visor – DOH! Visor down and I’m back in the race!

I have one strategy and one strategy only – try to overtake the kart in front. It may sound simple but without keeping a record of who is where and how many laps they’ve done there isn’t anything else I can do. So every-time a car was in my sights I just repeated their kart number over and over. As a tac-tic it served me proud and it seems like it have me voodoo like control over the other race-cars. As I saw a number come into view I would say its name over and over again and as we got to a bend they would always spin out. If I was lucky I could pass through not only the spun out karts but also nip round those that have slowed down to avoid an accident. My lack of acceleration on the straights were more than made up for by my expert driving in the twisty bits. Until spun out on the corner that was defeating me during my first session – DAMN YOU HAIRPIN CORNER!

So I’d overtake perhaps 1 or 2 cars in a lap but then every 2 or 3 laps I was spinning out and 2 or 3 cars were overtaking me. It was like a real-life version of 2 steps forward, one step back. Luck seemed to be on my side until getting close to my 20 minutes when the rain was getting the better of my kart – the engine wasn’t firing properly when I gave it some beans and if I wasn’t fully on the throttle it real did cough and splutter. I limped back to the pits and the pit-lane crew gave it a thorough spraying with their magic spray while me and Andy swapped over.

I think we were in 6 place when I checked the leader-board. I must admit that I didn’t pay any attention to the other data (laps behind, total racetime/etc) and I also didn’t notice the numbers of the teams above us. Andy was doing a great job maintaining our position and I think managed to get us to 5^th place by the time we swapped over again. No pressure on me then!

As I climb into the kart for the last time I can’t help but notice the squelch from my soaking wet shoes. I had sensibly brought a change of clothes, but very stupidly not brought a change of foot-ware! What-a mistake-a to make-a!

I try to drive sensibly so not to risk our position. However, this is the last chance to make a move. DEATH OR GLORY!

With a few laps to go I’ve worked out that on the bend before the main straight you can plant your foot to the floor and really only come off the power as you get to the chicane. I’m pushing full throttle closer and closer to the hairpin and nearing the end of the race I end up over-cocking it and spinning out. Bugger!

In a cruel twist of fate the kart that overtakes me while I recover from my spin-out mis-times the next corner and I nip round them as I take my original position. Another lap or 2 later and the marshals are waving the chequered flag and the race is over. All the karts get back into the pits and while we make our way back to get changed we check the race-screen and it looks like we came 5^th!

Inside the building and people are started to get changed. Off comes my soaking wet jeans (Why on earth did I leave my wallet in my back pocket!) and my tshirt. I also take off my socks & shoes and put on my dry tracky-b’s and a dry t-shirt. I walk barefooted back to the room we’re doing the presentation in. I’m handed the results sheet of our team, Andy very sensibly is having a shower and has a clean complete change of clothes – including shoes! There looks to be awards for 1^st, 2^nd & 3^rd and I get into a good position to film the ceremony on my iPhone. Unfortunately my iPhone takes this moment to steam up the main lens and I can’t record anything which doesn’t look like vaselin has been smeared all over the lens. I put the iPhone away, make a little prayer to the God of apple-tech that it will be ok, and enjoy the ceremony. It turns out 1 team got disqualified but no-one is really sure why.

It is still raining heavily outside and so I put my soaking wet trainers back on (have I said they are soaking wet before?) and we make our way over to the chinese buffet which is right next door to the race-track. Some of the group head off but there is about 16-20 people who go for the buffet. Me and Andy sit down next to Pyro and another Andy and opposite Icky & Jimbo198966. We have a nice meal which wasn’t expensive and chat for a bit. As we are eating the weather improves and it actually stops raining! As we get up from the table I notice that although I had changed out of my wet clothes, my boxershorts weren’t changed and had soaked through to the front of my tracksuit bottoms – It looked like I had pissed myself! Nevermind as there is nothing I can do about it now. Well fed and a little tired after the racing we jump in the car and make the journey back to Berkshire.

I arrive back at my house – a bit cold, still damp (or mildly moist if you would prefer) and tired. But I’d had an excellent day out with my friends and hope that this could become a regular occurance. Maybe even in the sunshine next time!

Twon